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Brett Gonzales – The Final Chapter

  • 02/12/2011
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  • Posted by EuroSTAR

An ever-so slightly true story.

It is with great sadness that I have to report to the testing world the demise of the mythically, magical and altogether larger than life character Brett Gonzales – ‘demise’ as ‘death’ seems too final a word for someone who is purely imaginary. The end came swiftly; he departed doing what he liked doing best – testing, although 33,000 volts passing through his body was not one of the expected results. Brett managed to fail that test and raise the bug report – professional to the end. Burial at sea will ensue, to prevent his final resting place becoming a place of pilgrimage for testers.

An obituary will appear in the next edition of “Fishing for Wimps”. Seventeen nations have already granted Brett citizenship [since 00:01 on 02 December 2011], Zimbabwe with the issue of a genuine 1928 passport (even though this was decades before the country came into existence). A book of condolence has been opened at the Peruvian embassy in Australia, and police are on hand to deal with the enormous number of people arriving. Other people may wish to wait until Brett is inducted into the Testers’ Hall of Fame to salute his career.

Details of Brett’s life have appeared on the EuroSTAR blog, but for readers unfamiliar with the finer points of his life, items are listed below, with one “passing reference” article included.

May 2010 – ‘Missing’ submission for EuroSTAR 2010

Dec 2010 – First submission for EuroSTAR 2011

April 2011 – Example of ‘passing reference’ article

Oct 2011 – Nomination for European Tester of Excellence award

Nov 2011 – Great Testers of our Time #12 Brett Gonzales

Nov 2011 – Hello EuroSTAR Manchester – this is Manchester (Vermont)

Brett’s passing is personally a relief, having misguidedly promised to include a reference to this great tester when writing or speaking on Software Testing in 2011. (This bit, if no other, is true). It is time to draw his career to a close whilst, if not actually winning, then before the joke wears out. I can get on with my life without the shadow of Brett Gonzales looming large, and thinking when faced with a difficult requirements document “Well, what would Brett do?” Brett never married, considering himself wedded to the profession and took a keen interest in the careers of many (including the Qualtech ‘girls’ – although none managed to obtain a signed photograph of him). Photographs of the great man are rarer than hen’s teeth. When asked if he was sad he had no children, Brett replied: “but I did. Thousands of them. All Testers”.

There may be further future features from Brett, as I have been appointed his literary executor to promote the prodigious output from his keyboard, much of which is unpublished. His first book dates from the time he was designing baby equipment – “Dummies for Dummies”. Two volumes as yet unpublished are “Bugs, Bugs, Bugs, Bugs, Bugs, Bugs and Bugs”, and the voluminous “Brett Gonzales Book of Quotations”. The latter gives items attributed to Brett, but that he never actually said; “The only good developer is a dead developer” is an example, a sentiment he would not agree with. Rumours of “Brett Gonzales – The Movie” are a total fabrication.

It is hoped that a posthumous award of “European Tester of Excellence” will be made to this giant of our industry in the future. This could be one way to stop Brits walking off with this award – yet again. No-one is quite sure of his nationality at birth, but Brett definitively is not (sorry, WAS not) a Brit.

So adios, amigo! You will be missed, by me if no-one else.

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